


Things I couldn’t tell you, I’ll tell you all night

by hyungwoniie



Category: ASTRO (Band), NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Astro - Freeform, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Idols, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mpreg, astro are so sweet in this story, disgust, emotional moonbin, like a lot more than i wanted, nct - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22635766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyungwoniie/pseuds/hyungwoniie
Summary: Call me when you have timeCall me when you’re going somewhereCall me before you sleepCall me when you get upMy call log is filled with youBut still, I wanna hear your voice and talk to you //Moonbin wakes up to an empty bed and even emptier heart.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Moon Bin/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Things I couldn’t tell you, I’ll tell you all night

Moonbin moved around the large king-sized bed, pain rising through his lower back. He shifted to spread out upon the right side of the bed only to find coldness. _Great_. 

He doesn't remember what happened much last night, from how much alcohol he intook, but it was enough from him to end up in bed with someone who left him there. Alone. Scared. Cold. This was at least the third time it happened in a span of 4 months. Moonbin doesn't know if it the same person, gender, or anything, but all he does know is how much of an idiot he is for even taking a sip of alcohol. Everyone close to him knows his tolerance for those strong drinks is an all-time low. His members were probably also wasted to the point where they couldn't tell him not to order drink after drink. Hell knows where Minhyuk and Sanha were at that time, they both never drank much alcohol, so they could have saved him from not having to go through this pain again.

Moving his hands to rub the sleep out of his eyes, he slowly got up and started searching for his clothes scattered on the floor. He knew he was at a hotel since, well, the room looked exactly like one. He finally found all of his clothing and even a pair of rings which definitely weren't his, most likely the person he slept with. The glistening gold rings were too pretty too leave behind and being the little brat Moonbin is, he took them. Hey, the person left, and he has the right to take them. 

With all of his clothes on and new rings, he found his phone on the bedside table and saw the notifications from a certain group chat.

_2:49 AM_

**MGay: Binnieeee~~ Please answerrrrrrr... we are worried that you are nowhere near us, we can't even find you anywhererere.**

**the ddevil: i swear i saw him walk out of the building. i hope he didn't go off and get pounded again.**

**an actual rock: I told you, you should have kept watch on him, Sanha...**

**the ddevil: welllllll i am sorry that someone brought a puppy to the party! i dont know why, but thank god they did.**

**jiddies: guys, this is not something to joke about, lets just spread out and try to find him. and bin, if you are reading these texts, please respond so we can go find you.**

_4:23 AM_

**obama?: Moonbin, we have looked everywhere for you. I really hope you are safe and not in a bed with someone again. You know what happened the last times that happened. Just please be alright.**

**jiddies: yeah, what eunwoo said. even if you are in someone's bed, make sure to not let them control you. have a goodnight, binnie.**

Moonbin ruffled his hair in rage. He can't believe he let himself do this once again. It was almost a regular thing to happen when these idols get together and have a party. There was always alcohol, dancers, cigarettes, and even illegal drugs that every one of his group members stayed away from. But a lot of those idols live for the parties. A moment where they can be themselves and don't have to worry about the media or their fans catching light to it. No one spoke about what happened at the parties after they happened. It is just a rule within the idol life. Bin just wishes to no longer go to those parties, yet sadly, they needed to. Not only were idols there, but insanely popular celebrities and CEOs. Even though he loves arohas and how ASTRO is now, he has to admit that they aren't as popular as they need to be. Every group wants to be at the top, and ASTRO thrives to be there. 

After finding a bottle of water in a minifridge the hotel room had, he clicked the only contact he knew wouldn't make a joke as soon they saw the caller id. 

"Binnie? Oh my gosh, are you okay? Where are you right now?" Jinwoo frantically said as he answered the phone call. 

While scratching the back of his neck and trying not to let tears fall out, Moonbin replied, "I-I don't know, it, it just happened again. Gosh, why every time. I hate this part of me."

"You are perfectly fine, Bin. It's not you, it's the alcohol that takes control of your body. I am so sorry for not being able to save you. I will call the manager to track your location and pick you up. Just stay put." He heard some small chatter from behind the phone and guessed that Jinwoo was telling the other members he was okay. His guess was proven to be correct when he heard two people fight over the phone and heard Myungjun's voice through his phone speakers. 

"Thank god you are okay. Do you remember who the person was, what you did because I swear if they hurt you, I will cut off their di-"

"Myungjun, I am fine. It is just the usual pain I always get, and from what I saw in the mirror, they didn't make any marks or bruises. I don't recall who they are, but they did leave two pretty gold rings which I am wearing right now. But other than that, nothing else." Bin got up from the bed and walked around to see if any other evidence was left, but sadly nothing. The other must-have cleaned everything up before they left.

"The manager is there, outside the hotel, just remember to keep your head down so no one recognizes you. We will be at the dorm when you get back." Jinwoo's voice pierced through the silence. Moonbin just sent his thanks and ended the call. He collected all of his items and placed them into his bag and left the hotel room. 

He traveled through the entire building with his head down up until he saw the familiar black van outside. He opened the door and hopped in, resting his head against the window when he settled down, not wanting to face the yellings from his manager just yet.

Bin looked at the passing buildings and people, seeing them go about their ordinary life. Yes, he will admit he misses how things were before his idol life, but he wouldn't change his job for the world at the same time. He adored his fans 24/7, even seeing one "I love you" comment on his Instagram post lightens up his entire day, but he also feels so much guilt. None of them know the number of times he has woken up, alone, in a hotel room that looks the same as always. Slowly, Moonbin wrapped his arms around himself for comfort, trying not to let those thoughts appear in his head again. 

_

Moonbin barely could get his shoes off before he was attacked by his other members with the constant "Are you okay?' and "We missed you"s. He got his scolding from his manager with the words "If this happens once more, who knows what the company will do." It's not like the manager was angry, not at all, just disappointed. Their manager was so nice and friendly, but he said so many times how much it hurt to see Bin like this. Yet it hurt Moonbin, himself, even more. 

From the time he got home, to the time they had to leave for an event, Bin was spoiled and cared for by each member in their own ways. Sanha cleaned up his room, Minhyuk gave him the rest of his mom's kimchi, Jinwoo gave him a massage to help his lower back, Myungjun put on a show to lift his spirits and Dongmin had a long talk with him, to let his emotions out. His members, his friends, were some of the most caring people he knew. Whether he was sick, or just feeling stressed out, they always knew how to make him feel a bit better.

But by the time they had a vlive event, the guilt sunk in. He saw all of the messages and even had video calls with a few lucky arohas. Bin was even asked what he did that day, and he almost teared up at the question. He lied through his teeth and smiled all through it. How disgusting he was.

-

Whenever they arrived back at the dorms, all Bin wanted to do was wallow in his pain. Or sleep, yes, oh how badly he wanted to cover himself in layers of fluffy blankets and fall asleep. So after eating some food Dongmin and Jinwoo made, and horrible dessert Sanha created, he crawled into bed and fell fast asleep, pushing aside his current depression and guilt for a few hours so he could get peaceful dreams.

_

"Moonbin, I have been told you will be a global host for the weekly MC Countdown in 2 weeks," his manager said while he was eating his breakfast, scrolling through the comments of his recent tweet. He looked up from his phone, mouth stuffed full of cereal. He quickly chewed through his food and asked, "Am I the only one, or will there be others as well." 

His manager cleared his throat and sat in a seat next to Bin. "Well from what I was told, there will be two other hosts. Johnny from NCT 127 and Umji from GFriend. I believe they are the only ones."

Bin just nodded as a reply and went back to stuffing cereal back into his mouth. His manager got up from the chair and walked around the dorm to talk to the other members, which left Moonbin to continue what he was originally doing. He smiled at the funny replies and clicked on the auto-translation for comments he didn't understand. Arohas always knew how to make him feel better. It had been 10 days since the incident and even though he was slowly getting over his actions, he has been throwing up for the past couple of days. He hasn't told anyone, just thinking it is a stomach bug, but after he washed his bowl and placed it on the drying rack, nausea hit him.

He ran towards the bathroom, hand over his mouth to prevent the puke from coming out, and almost bumped into Sanha in the process. He opened the toilet bowl and let all of his recently eaten cereal escape out of his body. Sanha came running towards him and patted his back. 

"Binnie, what happened?" He ran his hand down his back to help the puking man. After hearing the commotion, the rest of the members and manager entered the bathroom. He was handed a glass of water afterward and was asked questions. 

"Have you been puking recently?" A nod. The manager knelt down and touched his forehead, but felt no heat. "We need to take you to the hospital, I will call the company to inform them, but first, let's get you to the car."

-

Bin swung his legs back and forth while he waited for the doctor to arrive, his manager was in there with him, and Jinwoo, since he insisted on being in the room. The rest of the members waited out in the waiting room. Finally, after what seemed like ages, a middle-aged man with a long white coat entered the room. They all bowed and he asked a simple question, "So what are we in here for today."

He explained his sickness and the doctor took notes on his laptop, the keys being tapped away. "Well, we should check your temperature and some other things, so I can see if everything is alright. If everything is, I will ask a bit more questions."

The doctor went through the normal check-up, checking his temperature, his lungs, heartbeat, bones, and stomach. After everything, he was told he seemed perfectly fine. "May I ask, have you performed any sexual activities for the past weeks or so."

"Y-yeah, um. around 2 weeks ago."

He cleared his throat and the doctor continued typing on his laptop. "Do you know if you are a carrier?"

Moonbin shook his head and started to panic. Was he pregnant?

"If you are pregnant, then we still can't ultrasound since we won't see anything, but we can give you a pregnancy test to see. The symptoms you have told me point to pregnancy and since you don't seem to have any illness, this is the only thing I can currently think of. But if you aren't, then it may just be a simple stomach bug."

Bin was handed a box and was told to go to the bathrooms. There was no way. He can't be pregnant. He is an idol, he has a career. If he is pregnant, everything will be ruined. His life, his fame, his reputation, everything will be gone.

He took the test and curled up into a ball on the ground, a pregnancy test at his side. Bin bawled his eyes out. He is ruined.

_Positive._

**Author's Note:**

> title and summary based on all night - astro! one of my favorite title tracks from them. this ff was based off that one vlive johnny and bin did in 2018. it was just them talking abt idols they were mcing for but the first thing i thought was, "binnie is pregnant with johnny's child" as a joke obviously. i even tweeted it, and someone said i should make a ff for it, so here we are. hope you enjoy!


End file.
